Core Beliefs - Chapter 42 - Resurrection Morning.

Core Beliefs – Chapter 42 - Resurrection Morning.

4:30 in the morning, and as usual, Ling had spent the night in the recliner next to Matt’s bed. The room was dark except for the monitors and some lights on the equipment. The night had been peaceful, with Ling dreaming that she was talking with Matt. The thoughts flitting into her head told her Matt was trying to come to her.

Through her dream, Ling implored him, begging Matt to please hurry, professing she wanted and needed him so much it hurt. Variations of this dream danced in her mind, and she took comfort in the thought of Matt wanting to reach her.

***

“Hello, my love,” it startled Ling. The voice reverberated through her mind—warm, full of comfort—waking her instantly. She turned towards Matt, his head angled her way, and in the reflected light of the monitors, his eyes open. A crooked smile on his face. Ling shuddered in disbelief and blinked furiously.

“It’s real!” Ling realized

Matt gazed at her.

Tears started to track her cheeks, and she stammered, “My love! My love!”

“Is this real?” Matt pulsed into her mind.

“It is!” she replied as her hand tightened its grip on his.

“I don’t understand?” His thoughts were clear, and she heard every word.

“Understanding will come,” she sobbed, “but the important thing is you have found your way back.”

Matt smiled, and for a second, it looked like he was trying to nod, but his head moved more at an angle.

Ling leaned over and kissed him. His lips trembled against hers.

“I feel you!” his thoughts pulsed.

Ling kissed harder, her eyes closed and thought as powerfully as she could with her mind, “I can’t live without you!”

They parted lips. Matt smiled. His lips began to tremble, then move. From his throat came a raspy sound as he attempted to speak. The words were slow and almost impossible to recognize, but they were words, and they were his!

“I----ca---n-------n---ot---ex—i---st--------w---i—th---ou---t-----you.”

Ling lost it. She held his hands, sobbed, and kissed his face repeatedly, knowing she truly had him back.

In her head, words came again: “I feel your thoughts!”

They spent the next hour and a half sharing mentally and, at times, vocally.

***

Polly, the LPN, came into the room at 6:30 a.m. to perform the routine vital signs recording. She carried a tray with her blood-collection vials, along with temperature and blood pressure instruments. Flipping on a light, she paused. Sitting on Mr. Lehman’s bed was Dr. Chang, kissing the patient.

“Dr. Chang! Is that very professional?” Polly chirped.

Ling turned and smiled widely.

A man’s voice, rough and staggered, said, “She has my permission.”

Polly gazed at Mr. Lehman, awake, his eyes open.

The tray clanged to the floor, items pinged and scattered, and Polly screamed, “It’s a miracle! It’s a real honest-to-God miracle.” She started dancing in a circle, singing, “He’s awake, he’s really awake, I can’t believe it, he’s awake!”

The antics continued for almost a minute before Ling interrupted. “Now, Polly, we need to be professional.”

The LPN stopped and tried to wipe the smile from her face but couldn’t. She dissolved into giggles. “I’ll pick up and get a new tray.”

Collecting the scattered items, she walked calmly toward the door, paused, turned, and grinned at Matt. “Welcome back, Sir,” then slipped out the door.

***

The door closed. Ling heard Polly shout, “He’s awake! He’s awake!” as she dashed down the hall.

“I will have to share you,” Ling whispered to Matt, “because there have been many who have had a part in bringing you back, but remember that more than anything in the world, I love you.”

It was only seconds before a knock on the door announced a gaggle of curious people.

Ling stepped into the hall. “Listen, people,” her voice was gentle but commanded. “This man has been through a trauma unlike any in known history. He is not an exhibit or an experiment. He is a human being, first and foremost. There will be time for visiting later, but for now, he is still a patient in need of treatment and time to recover.”

Polly, Bernadette, and Steve were among the group. Ling pointed to them. “Follow me. We have work to do.”

Matt struggled a little with the words but got out, “Oh, good, visitors!” He smiled, and his eyes were alert.

“Let’s get organized,” Ling said. “Our routines will be changing.”

She issued instructions, and in five minutes, people hustled to their tasks.

Ling stepped to the bed and took Matt’s hand. “Are you hungry or thirsty?”

“I don’t know, should I be?” he asked.

“You’ve expended substantial energy over the last few weeks. I think we should try to get your body back to normal functionality.”

He nodded. Ling asked Steve to get water, applesauce, and bananas.

While waiting for Steve, she went to the computer and composed the email she had been hoping to write for a month.

“He’s back!”

She attached it to the three-group list: Family, Marcus and Company, and the Wichita gang. She clicked transmit and sat back, wondering, ‘Will they realize what this means?’ The replies started back almost immediately. In ten minutes, almost thirty emails filled the inbox. Ling let them roll in.

She returned to Matt and gently removed the imager’s headgear. “We can do without this for a while.”

She turned the monitor off and sat with her man. They had shaved his head for the surgery, and as she gazed at him, fine stubble coated much of his head. She also saw the speckled points where she had inserted the DNA through his skull, and the deep cuts and wounds from the accident had morphed into nasty scars. The bruising where the cranium had cracked had almost disappeared. Her heart filled with compassion for all he had been through.

“What do you remember?” stroking his face.

“I remember everything, but I’m not sure what it means,” Matt said in his broken voice.

“Are you tired mentally or physically?”

“A little, but I can continue,” Matt said, his voice still struggling. “I don’t want to leave you!” A flash of fear filled his eyes.

“Not now, not ever,” she said, as much to herself as to Matt.

Steve brought the food and set it on an adjustable tray.

They started with sips of water, mostly just to wet his mouth. Ling took her time, not rushing, making sure he was comfortable before moving forward. After a few successful spoons of applesauce, Ling picked up the banana, peeled it, crushed a chunk into a pulp, and put a small spoonful into Matt’s mouth.

She saw the question in his eyes as if asking, ‘What do I do now?’

“Just smash it around,” Ling said. “Your body should still know what to do.”

Matt mashed and squeezed with his tongue. A little bit slipped back onto his lip, which Ling quickly scooped with the spoon.

“You’re doing great!” she said.

Matt continued massaging the banana, and then it suddenly slipped down his throat. His expression showed his surprise.

“You don’t have to learn everything all over,” Ling smiled. “Some things your body never forgets, and if there is anything you don’t remember, I’ll teach you.” A twinkle in her eye and a touch of lust in her heart-shaped the words.

They had finished the banana and worked on more applesauce. Ling fed him; though Matt could move his arms, he still lacked fine motor skills.

There was a knock on the door. “Yes?” Ling asked.

“It’s Marcus,” a voice replied.

“Marcus, please come in!”

Marcus stepped over the threshold and froze.

Matt gazed at him for several seconds.

“I remember you. You are a good friend,” Matt said softly in his broken speech.

Marcus grinned from ear to ear, stepped forward, and took Matt’s hand. “Seeing you is filling me with absolute joy!”

He sighed and gazed at Ling. “What do I need to do?”

“We will need a wheelchair, and could you email Joe and Cynthia to see if they could bring some clothes from the house? Matt needs pajamas and clothes that are easy to get on and off. Fashion isn’t important. Also, we need to control access so that he isn’t overwhelmed with well-wishers. There is still a lot to do.”

“I hear and obey,” Marcus smiled. Facing Matt, “Listen to the Doctor. She will take good care of you.”

Matt awkwardly nodded and, in his ragged voice, “She has.”

***

Joe and Cynthia arrived excited beyond words.

Phone calls and messages poured in that people were on their way. Ling worried it might be too much, but Matt seemed to be handling it okay.

Ling set the schedule: no more than thirty minutes of company followed by rest. She still wanted Matt to get physical therapy, and her goal was for him to get mobile enough to make it to the bathroom in a week.

People protested for more time, but in the end, everyone agreed to follow Ling’s instructions.

She reserved the night for herself, placing the recliner next to his bed and holding Matt’s hand. On occasion, she heard him in her head speaking softly of how he loved her.

***

Five days later, on November 6, Matt shuffled, using a walker, from his bed to the bathroom down the hall. He had to stop and rest a couple of times but was ambulating. His appetite improved, as did his strength.

Steve, the RN, brought in hand weights and had Matt doing exercises.

***

During his visits with others, Matt began to get an understanding of what had happened. They raved about how Marcus had made the facilities possible and the miraculous feats performed by various individuals, but it always came back to Ling, who never left him and never gave up.

***

Ling came in one morning and found Matt sitting in the recliner. Tears rimmed his eyes, and sadness gripped his face.

She rushed to him. “What’s wrong?” She begged, hurting as she said it. To see him in any pain or distress went straight to her heart, and she was afraid that something terrible had happened.

“I don’t deserve to be alive.” Matt’s sad gaze pierced her. “What have I done to merit the sacrifices made by all these people? How can I justify my life being worth the price to bring me back? I feel so unworthy.”

“Do you understand, love?” Ling held his hands.

Matt was silent before speaking. “Yes, I believe I do.”

Ling waited a minute before asking, “Do you understand compassion?”

Matt was slow to answer but finally said, “I do.”

“Do you understand, Joy?” Ling was ready this time.

Matt seemed puzzled, letting his mind drift as he reached for those memories that made him feel joy.

“Yes, I understand joy. You have given me joy and filled me with joy!” he said with conviction.

“Have you ever given love, compassion, and joy to others?”

Matt was quiet for a long time. “I have tried.”

“Look at me, Matthew Lehman, look into my eyes, my heart, and into my mind. I want you to understand that all these people, including me, have seen you give of your heart and soul out of love, joy, and compassion, not once but many, many times. This is the truth, and though you may not realize it, this is a fact.”

She took his hands in hers and kissed his fingers. “Do not feel guilty for being alive; do not feel that you are not worthy of what has been done for you.” She paused, peering deeply into his eyes.

“Every act, every word, every deed by these people was done out of love and respect. It was the best gift that each of these people could give to you,” Ling sighed. “They did it out of the goodness of their hearts because they wanted to. All you need to do is accept that they felt you were worthy. Your responsibility is to honor their gifts.”

Matt gazed at her and spoke into her mind, “How do I honor such wonderful gifts?”

Ling gathered all her heart into her thoughts, gripping Matt’s hands tighter, and she released the images of her heart. “Just be you; that is all.”

“I heard you!” Matt said.

“Do you believe me?”

“I do,” he answered.

She lay her head on his lap, and that was how Steve found them. “Sorry, do you two need more time?”

“We’re okay.” Matt looked up. “Come on in.”

Ling stood and kissed him. “Are you okay?”

“Perspective helps. I’m fine.”

“I have some things to arrange and will be back soon.”

After Ling left, Matt asked Steve to help him get to the computer. Steve eased him into the wheelchair, and Matt rolled himself to the terminal. He found the email page, typed a message, and sent the email to Marcus.

“Steve, I would like to practice walking.”

Steve and Matt moved to another room with more space. Matt locked the wheels on the chair and, with effort, pushed himself up. He began shuffling forward with Steve at his elbow. After the third circuit, he returned to the chair and plopped down.

“Ready to go back to the room?” Steve asked.

“No, Steve, my legs feel really stiff. Could you try to limber them up?” Matt’s expression was serious, determined to do more.

Steve began with Matt’s left leg, massaging and flexing it at the knee and the ankle. As he massaged, he identified knotted muscles. After about ten minutes, he moved to the right leg, remembering the damaged knee, intending to take it easier.

“Steve, treat both legs the same.” Matt realized he was being babied. “I can manage the pain if it gets too strong.”

Steve began flexing, and Matt did have to block the zaps of misery, but the more Steve flexed, the less pain Matt felt.

“Now, let’s see how they work,” Matt said.

Matt pushed himself up. At first, he shuffled, but as he made rounds, he began to lift his knees higher. The motion became more fluid. Matt made five circuits before settling back into the chair.

“Steve, I think we made progress today.”

“One step at a time,” Steve said, “and always another step to take.”

Matt chuckled, “Please, kind sir, to my room?” When Matt got to his room, Marcus was waiting for him.

“Talk to me, Matt. Your message indicated that this was urgent.” Marcus said.

“It is.”

For the next 30 minutes, Matt outlined items Marcus needed to facilitate, including an unscheduled meeting on Monday, November 10.

Ling returned just as Marcus was leaving.

“You have visitors waiting to see you,” she teased.

“Let’s go and mingle,” he grinned.

It was a good day, and Matt slept well that night.

***

On Monday morning, Matt woke Ling with another message in her mind. “I have a busy day. We need to get an early start.”

Ling snapped awake in the recliner next to him. “Busy? What is going on, Matthew? I don’t like surprises, and we are not playing games.”

“My love,” he smiled. “I have been cooped up here long enough. It is time to get on with their lives. This morning at 9:30, I have a meeting with key corporate personnel, and then you and I have plans to make.”

Ling stared at him and was tempted to bully him to her will, but realized that he was doing exactly what she had told him to do: be Matthew Lehman.

“Can I come?” a pout on her lips.

“I insist that you do,” he grinned broadly, “you are very much a part of what I want to talk about.”

Ling left to clean up.

Joe came in carrying a suit, a dress shirt, a tie, socks, underwear, and shoes.

“Don’t worry,” Joe said. “Cynthia picked them out. They’ll all match.”

Both laughed loudly. Bernadette stuck her head in to make sure disaster hadn’t struck. When she saw them joking, she groaned, “Boys, they never grow up.”

Matt dressed, shaved, and sat in the wheelchair. At 9:15, Ling showed up wearing a nice pantsuit and with her hair attractively fixed.

Matt felt an urge. One he remembered well. He wanted her.

Matt had Joe stop the chair around the corner from the conference room. He locked the wheels, stood, and stepped stiffly to the back of the chair. With his hands on the handles, he began doing shallow knee bends, dipping a little lower with each motion.

Ling watched with raised eyebrows. “How long has this been going on?”

“A while,” Matt chuckled, “I’m trying to get myself in shape for sex.”

Ling laughed, blushed, stepped quickly to him, and whispered, “Anytime, mister, and the sooner the better.”

Joe stared at the ceiling with ‘awkward’ etched across his face.

“Showtime,” Matt said. “Let’s go!”

He walked forward, and each step became more fluid. By the time he turned into the conference room, he was as normal as any man. Matt circled the room, shaking hands and thanking people for being there. He ended up at the head of the table with Ling to his right and Marcus and Joe to his left.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he said with a firm voice. Once again, he was in command.

“I thank you for being here today. I’m going to keep this concise and to the point. In fact, I’m going to keep today’s meeting to twenty-seven points.”

He turned to Marcus, who handed him a notepad.

He started, “I want to first of all express my heartfelt gratitude to each of you who have sacrificed so much on my behalf this past month. While I was taking a nap, you were busting your backsides, making miracles every day. I have reviewed the information relating to the efforts.”

He paused for a moment. “I want it understood that, in my opinion, there is not another group of people in the world that could pull this off.” He couldn’t hide the emotion he felt. His voice quivered, “I want to further say that I am humbled by your gifts of time, talent,” he glanced at Ling, “compassion, care, and love, and I pledge to you that I will do everything in my power to honor your gifts and truly hope to live a life worthy of your great sacrifice.”

The room erupted with applause, and as Matt gazed, he saw more than a few faces with tears. It moved him deeply. “Finally,” he raised his hands, and the room grew quiet. “I called this meeting not just to thank you but to tell you that it is time for all of us to move forward. I have occupied critical space in this facility long enough and soon will be going home. I want to review the following points and let us all get back to building a better future for everyone.”

Matt went through his twenty-seven points, each one a building block for the next. Ling marveled at his ability to communicate. Even if she hadn’t loved him, she recognized how his presentation of facts was masterful and, in her mind, artistic.

He wanted to return the labs to their intended purpose in a quick and orderly manner. All the equipment used in his treatment was to be categorized and cataloged, then stored safely until a new facility could be established.

His goal was to have the methods and technology ready to present to the world in a year or less.

He designated Dr. Chang to be the director in charge. He went through other company operations and goals and ended by challenging them to remember that, as they had given him another opportunity for life. He expected each of them to reach out and experience life to the fullest.

The meeting ended with another standing ovation. It was at this point that Ling realized Matt had been standing for over an hour.

She positioned his chair. “Please, darling, sit down. Doctor’s orders.”

Matt used the table to steady himself and eased into the chair.

“Joe,” he whispered to his brother, “I don’t think I can make it back to the wheelchair. Let’s let everyone leave, and if you don’t mind, could you bring it to me?”

“After a speech like that, I’d do anything you want!” Joe smiled.

Most of the people filing out came and wished him well.

At last, it was Matt, Ling, Marcus, and Joe.

Matt sat quietly for several minutes before finally turning to Joe and Marcus.

“This has been an amazing ride, but it’s just getting started,” he said. “I am going to tell you something, and I want it to remain confidential,” Matt paused. “I am not the same. Every aspect of my mind has been enhanced. My memory and cognitive skills are several times better than ever in my past.” He took a moment to let his words sink in.

“I do not tell you this to impress you. I did not ask for this ability, and I only accept it because it is who I am now.

“What transpired with the regenerative DNA and the nanobots has made me aware that the potential of the human mind has barely been touched, and there are unopened doors to worlds we cannot imagine.”

He reached out and touched both Joe and Marcus on their arms. “This is a new beginning,” his voice was heard clearly in their heads.

Joe’s jaw dropped, and his eyes widened. Marcus arched his eyebrows and grinned broadly.

***

On November 12, Matt went home. The need for the lavish equipment was over, and he sat quietly as Ling drove through the streets of St. Louis. He asked her to take her time. He wanted to enjoy the sights, his memories touching on many familiar things.

Joe and Cynthia waited in front of the house. They offered to help, but Matt said he could make it on his own. He crossed the threshold to familiar scents. He knew he could close his eyes and walk through this place with ease. Most of all, there was a sense of comfort.

“Where do you want to go?” Ling asked.

“My study.”

He was home.

The following morning, Matt and Ling woke virtually at the same time, in each other’s arms, and simultaneously whispered, “Good morning, my love.”

Both laughed, hugged, and kissed. It had been a wonderful night, not in the physical sense, but in a deeper spiritual sharing of their innermost feelings, passions, desires, and fears. There were no secrets.

“Let’s go for a walk,” Ling said.

“Yes, Doctor,” Matt chuckled.

They found their clothes. Matt’s were extremely loose. He had to cinch his belt to the very last notch.

They grabbed coats, walked around the neighborhood, and talked about plans for the week. Matt was going to get back in touch with each of the companies and spend some time catching up. Ling was going to go back to Myoplex and start cataloging and breaking down the facilities that had made it possible for her to be walking with her man on this cold, brisk morning.

“How would you feel about Thanksgiving at Armonia House in Wichita?” Matt asked.

“Matt, I think that would be great.”

Ling hesitated, then asked, “Matt, I would like to invite my mother. Would that be okay?”

Matt remembered that Ling and her mother had a strained relationship and could tell that this was important to her.

“Sure, I think that’s a wonderful idea. I really want to meet her. We’ll call Charlotte when we get back and see if it’s good with her.”

After thirty minutes of slow strolling, they arrived back at the house. Matt felt refreshed but a bit leg-weary.

Back in his study, in his chair, he picked up the phone. He knew it was early but also knew the Martin household was up and in full swing, getting the kids ready for school. He dialed, and Janet answered.

“Have you finished The Lord of the Rings yet?” Matt asked.

“Uncle Matt! Uncle Matt!” the girl squealed from the other end.

“Oh, I’m your uncle now?” Matt found himself laughing, bubbling with joy as her voice echoed back.

“I made you my uncle whether you like it or not.”

“Isn’t that a bit precocious, my dear?”

“I don’t care. That’s how I feel about you!”

The warmth that flooded him almost overwhelmed his ability to speak. ‘So much love,’ he thought, ‘I am surrounded by so much love.’

“My darling,” he sniffled the words out. “I am honored and grateful you think of me this way.” Catching a breath, he said firmly. “Now, how are you coming on the books?”

“I’m doing great, and I can’t wait to talk with you about them!” Janet was bubbling as she talked. Matt relished every second of the conversation.

He heard Charlotte in the background asking Janet to whom she was talking.

“It’s Uncle Matt.”

Matt could hear Charlotte pleading on the other end, “Oh please, honey, let Mommy talk to Uncle Matt, please?”

“Mommy wants to talk to you, so bye-bye.”

“Thank you, sweetie, I’ll see you soon.”

“Matt?” Charlotte’s voice pleaded.

“Hello Charlotte, how is my favorite shrink?”

“Matt, your favorite shrink is spectacular, and so happy to hear from you. How are you doing?” Charlotte was almost giddy as she waited for Matt’s reply.

“I am spectacular as well, but I have a special favor to ask.”

“What is it, Matt? Anything, you know, we would do anything for you.”

“Well, could you put up with extra guests for Thanksgiving?”

“Yes, oh yes! We would be thrilled to have extra guests. Oh, Matt, this is so wonderful.”

***

Charlotte was almost in tears at the other end. Her last memory of Matt was the gruff voice and the man who could barely walk. Her heart pounded with joy and anticipation.

“Charlotte, my dear,” Matt said, “I haven’t said how many.”

“Matt, if you are the one, I don’t care how many. Just tell me, and I will make sure that no one goes hungry! Please say you’re coming. Don’t play with me, Matthew Lehman.”

***

Matt could tell she was about to have a fit.

“Charlotte,” he calmly intoned, “settle down. I’m coming with Ling, and we will call you back with a count later, but I warn you it could be several more.”

“Matt, you could bring fifty, and it would be fine. This might be the best Thanksgiving ever.”

***

Charlotte was emotionally transitioning from giddiness to a deep, heartfelt joy, and though Matt couldn’t see them, tears of joy welled in the corners of her eyes.

“Matt, you can’t imagine how happy this makes all of us.”

“Charlotte, you have no idea how happy this makes me.”

They both laughed, and Matt said he needed to go.

***

He walked back to the kitchen and joined Ling, Cynthia, and Joe.

Matt smiled at Joe and Cynthia. “You know I love you dearly, and I know that Thanksgiving at your house has been a staple for so many years. The thing is, this year, a lot of things have changed, and I was hoping you and your family would join us at Armonia House for Thanksgiving.”

He had spoken from his heart and hoped they recognized that this wasn’t a slight to them.

Joe and Cynthia glanced at each other, and she nodded.

“Doug will probably be there anyway,” Joe chuckled. “It is almost impossible to get him away from Ellie, and Charley spends every minute he can in the Silo. I think it’s a lot easier for Cynthia and me to show up there than to coax the boys back home. We’ll gladly do it.”

Early afternoon, Joe and Cynthia packed and headed back to Kansas City, leaving Matt and Ling alone.

Ling, with Matt by her side, called her mother, Susan. It was a tense conversation, but after several minutes, Ling invited her to come for Thanksgiving. Ling begged, and finally, her mom said she would. They promised to send her a plane ticket and to pick her up at the airport.

The week went quickly, and Matt and Ling adjusted to living together, each finding silly quirks in the other’s habits, but it was these little things that endeared each to the other even more.